It was a Sunday night. It had been a particularly stressful few weeks with the holidays and my Dad being in the hospital. We had spent the day traveling with the kids to visit him and then spent time swimming at the pool in the hotel where my sister was staying with her family. It was a good day, but I just couldn't seem to just enjoy it.
Sunday night is my grocery night, and we pulled back into town at about 7pm (the kid's bed time.) After the kids were in bed I looked at Nathan and said, "You know, I think one the hardest parts about parenting for me is the constant feeling of being rushed. I feel like I'm always rushing around and thinking about what has to happen next and I can never just enjoy the moment." This surprised him and he told me I do a great job of hiding it. This response shocked me because just last week he told me that I act like it's the end of the world if things aren't going well. Example: if we're running late to something, which we are 99% of the time.
Some things that make me feel rushed:
- Worrying about getting the kids a meal on time if we're out somewhere
- Worrying about nap time if we're out somewhere
- Worrying about one of them having to use the bathroom or having an accident
- Getting home in time for bed time
- Getting dinner made by myself with all the kids having meltdowns
- Cleaning the house
- Getting them to and from school on time
Anyway, we brainstormed ways to help with this, ways for me to feel more in the moment and not constantly planning or thinking about what's coming next. For the next few days he'd text me from work with suggestions. Here are a few we came up with:
- It really is not the end of the world if we're late. We will get there and it will be fine.
- Make a "schedule" of household chores for the week. That way there are only a couple things to do each day and it's not so overwhelming.
- Pray
- Don't worry so much about getting dinner done at a specific time. If we're a little late and the kids go to bed a little late, it's ok. Also, try to meal prep as much as I can before.
- Trying to be mindful and really just focus on what I'm doing at the moment. This is especially true when I'm playing with the kids. The rest can wait, this is the important stuff.
I knew it was/is going to take a lot of practice to not be such a nut case all the time, but come Monday morning I was ready to give it a go! I did such a great job of not thinking about what was coming next that I completely forgot that E had a Dentist appointment the next day, even though they called to remind me the day before. And guess what!? The world did not end. I beat myself up about it for a few minutes, and then I called the Dentist Office to admit that I had simply forgot and moved on.
Now obviously I can't just not plan/think ahead because I do have 3 children and my household would implode if I just decided to go on strike like that. BUT I could definitely afford to chill out a bit. It's a work in progress. I'll try to save the worrying for things that really need to be worried about. Like when one of the kids sleeps later than normal and I wonder if they're still breathing. You know, normal Mom stuff. ;)
